1. What haven’t you grieved? (Or grieved thoroughly.)
2. What belief has been running your life?
3. What do you trust?
Asking these three questions helps unlock the patterns of our conditioning.
We are trained to avoid feeling pain; patterns of inherited belief then get locked in our mental grooves — and bodies. By leaning into what we trust on an intuitive, vibrational level, we reinforce experiences that can relieve us from what limits us.
Our beliefs, over time, create vibrational (energetic) imprints on our entire system:
psychological, physical, emotional and even spiritual. Ergo:
we re-live — and attract — what we believe.
We’ve been playing by a lot of rules that aren’t ours, and that’s okay. Mostly we’re stuck because we believe we’re stuck — but with the gift of self-awareness, we have perspective.
Our actions can come from insight, trust, and deep confidence in our worth and wisdom. For every fearful old record playing, there is opportunity. We can’t undo patterns by forcing ourselves, and yelling at our minds, “STOP, MIND!” (wouldn’t that be awesome?). Instead, we have to replace the patterns and habits with something new which makes room for releasing… naturally.
And that, my friend, is feeling — without judgement. Grieving what needs grieving — without grasping victimhood. And identifying the beliefs that have been limiting us, not so we can shame ourselves, but so we can trace the outline of them clearly enough to finally, blessedly, let ’em go — all while leaning into what we know and trust on a cellular level so that faith can guide us more than fear.
This is a process of discovering how to feel, integrate and be whole. (That’s a quote from a friend of mine. Isn’t she smart??)
I’ve begun to work with teen girls. What this does for a girl’s self-confidence and sense of power is incredible. I know I say “fuck” a lot here, but if you’re a parent to a teenager, know two things: 1) I can withhold the “fucks”, and 2) initiating your girl into her power at a young age is priceless.
God, but I do love simple.
We Have Three Options:
Option 1: Wham, Bam, Thankyouma’am // $149.00
One 2 hour session.
Option 2: In It to Win It // $435.00
One month / 4 Sessions, 90 min each.
Option 3: Don’t Stop, Get it Get it // $1290.00
Three months / 12 sessions, 90 min each.
Options 2 & 3 include unlimited e-mail support, guided meditations,
video lessons, creative prompts & homework, even recipes and yoga.
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Option 1 includes two follow-up e-mails with prompts / homework,
‘cuz I ain’t gonna leave you hangin’.
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Payment plans for Options 2 & 3 are available.
Click “Connect” above and we’ll talk details.
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Want a test drive?
Click “Connect” above and
schedule a 15-minute call with me to get a feel for how I roll.
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Money’s tight? Sister, I get it.
The first Friday of every month is my “Free Friday,” during which I give two 45-minute spots away. If you’d like to apply, click “Connect” above and answer those three questions at the top of this page. These spots fill up, so I can’t make any guarantees, but it’s worth a shot.
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Pssst: gifting these sessions to someone you love is tear-jerkingly beautiful. Plenty of people wouldn’t think to spend money on themselves, but I’ve seen the results of a gift like this, and it blows all the hearts wide open. (Plus, gifting is an incredible way to keep the universal flow flowin’ in your favor.)
I have felt lost at sea two times in less than six months. And both times, you were there with open arms. There is a way that your “un-coaching” holds space for these kinds of breakdowns and there is a sense of allowing that opens the door for a deeper understanding of myself. You really listen, without any expectations or “I need to fix you” vibes that can feel heavy and uncomfortable. Instead, you very gently hold a mirror for me to clearly see exactly what is going on underneath all the circumstances, and cuts down to the truth of the situation in my heart and soul. It’s almost magical. Every word delivered serves a purpose, and that purpose has generally been for you to give me enough space and encouragement to realize that I am my own compass, and I can follow my truth and intuition to safety.
The most important and life-changing lesson that I have learned has been compassion. C O M P A S S I O N. For myself, for once. And the most beautiful thing about feeling the deep and soothing compassion for myself is the wide-reaching effect it has on every other aspect of my life. I am more compassionate to my husband, my family, my friends, strangers on the internet, the fast-food worker who gets my order wrong, the man who cuts me off on the highway…life became less reactive and chaotic when my internal state stopped being those things. Coming off of one of these sessions is like being in a new reality, people comment on how calm and centered I seem. Although I always ugly-cry practically the whole way through a session, I am always feeling more in my truth, more connected to myself and others, and just so full of love.
I can’t ever say enough how special your gift truly is. You see me clearly, you hear me clearly, and you will love me gently and so much that I am learning how to treat myself the same way. There are not enough words to express how much you, woman, have changed my life just by letting me be me – un-tangled, un-afraid, un-coached.
– J. R., Writer, Lake Havasu City, Arizona, USA
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You’ve been one of the most influential people in my entire life. You are so self aware in seeing yourself that you not only rub off naturally when I’m around you, but I’m being educated by you without even remembering I paid for this! You’ve taught me to dig deeper into myself, how to allow for space, time & energy to pick out individual feelings — all the feelings — in situations when it’s all usually one convoluted expression. It’s a rarity to have that ability, and it’s a gift I’ve received from you that I continue to use and will never forget. You take me there, woman.”
– N.M, Marketing Director, Redlands, USA
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You are 100% authentic and a safe place. Your heart bleeds love. You have the ability to see my heart and love me completely through it with gentleness. My life has been blessed by your presence and your ability to truly see the real me through my brokenness.
– A.T, Youth Minister, Orange, CA, USA
1. I’m human.
2. See above.
I was maybe six or seven years old. It was morning, and the pink afghan my mother crocheted was heavy on my small body. I was staring at the wall — standard morning repertoire — when I suddenly became aware of this… presence.
I understood, laying there in the pale gray light of morning, that “I” was not the circumstances of my life; not my thoughts and feelings — they were remarkably separate from me, but still of me. I existed, and had always existed, as the Awareness standing in sweet observation of the phenomenon of life. I now experience this Presence as the essence of Love which weaves itself through all things.
Time carried on. I survived childhood, and had to learn how to unearth myself from the generational debris of depression, anxiety, co-dependence, poverty, and PTSD from a car accident (which resulted in the death of my nephew), and my first (and only) abusive relationship, which I escaped
moments before it became violent (thank God).
I studied psychology (no surprise) and the Mystics, became a meditator and traveled to Ireland, where I lived and embarked on a study of Buddhist Psychology.
I returned to the States to work in non-profit mental health with severely emotionally disturbed youth. I became obsessed with the neuropsychology of trauma, and trained under Bruce Perry and Dan Siegel. That opened the door to my interest in Affective Neuroscience (NERD ALERT!): the neurobiology of emotion and connection. I studied Attachment Theory, underwent yeeeaarrsss of personal therapy & training, and worked diligently with traumatized youth to somehow introduce mindfulness to the juvenile justice system.
(in a series of one-liners):
Yoga training = Hellooooo, existential crisis!
Me: “Sure, I’ll marry you! JK!!!!!!!”
Go Tell it To (the Hermit on) the Mountain
Panic (Attack)! At the Office
Hair-Washing Is For Healthy People
By The Light of the Creative Fire
Touched By A Nervous Breakdown
Un-Fucking: The Sequel (Furreal This Time, Tho)
Put A Bird On It
House Fire? SIGN ME UP!
Owning My Woo
Woo-Woo Without the Cray-Cray
Written in the Stars
Whoops, I’m Homeless Again
Adventures In Tiny Houses
(SRSLY, though: How weird is this face I’m making? ->)
My list of certifications & qualifications is long and nerdy — but my in-the-trenches-of-life experiences is what means I know how to see you clearly and compassionately. I have mentors and teachers of all kinds who love and support me in this work, and I never think of myself as a one-woman mental / spiritual health factory.
What I know most intimately is my own experience of needing to heal, first from necessity, and then from a desire to release my wounding. I want to live in a world where we are connected, compassionate, integrated, spiritually / emotionally intelligent, and deeply responsive to our humanness and our divinity.
The illusion of stuckness is convincing, but it is just an illusion.
Before you go…
Ask yourself those three magical questions at the top of the page.
Please remember that all grief is generational grief — we’re in this together.
The world will only benefit from your freedom.
Self-compassion is the highest-paying
work there is.
(I love you.)